Sunday, October 26, 2008

Horseshit of the day for October 26th, 2008

This really feels like a pointless and Sisyphean effort . . . rolling back the tide of absurd lies, horseshit, that daily washes ashore here in our country during this political season.

Here's one that I've read many times before during the course of this election:

In this rambling mess of "investigative" journalism, well known anti-Obama fabulist, Jerome R. Corsi, dredges up the old "Obama's missing birth certificate" scandal. To make a long story short, the idea is that Obama was not, in fact, born in Hawaii but was born in Kenya and, so, is not a US citizen and is not eligible to even run for, let alone be elected to, the presidency.


Really people, this is a paralell line of thought to the, Obama's a dual national of the US and Kenya and so he cannot be president.

Even better, there are claims that he is an Indonesian citizen. before long there will be the united nations of Obama. Hell, he can be our first world president since he's obviously a citizen of the world, literally.

But back to our original horseshit of the day. In the article Corsi now tells us of the clearly suspicious "sealing" of Barack Obama's birth certificate by the governor of Hawaii. Da da da dum. Oooh, frightening. A government conspiracy to keep the truth from us.

Yes folks, the Republican governor of Hawaii, Linda Lingle, and the entire Hawaiian department of health, the records department etc. etc. etc. have all joined together to perpetrate this vast fraud on the American people. Help, I can't even write this as satire because this is EXACTLY the horseshit that Corsi and the lunatic fringe in the blogoconspirasphere would have you believe. As incredible as I try and make this sound, people actually believe this garbage.

Should I even bother to respond to this with some facts and basic logic? well, probably not but I will anyway. Very simply, the mere fact that the document was "sealed" leads one to believe, logically, that it exists. You can't "seal" a non-existent document. We've already seen the "certificate of live birth" from Hawaii, which IS a birth certificate. That's what my "birth certificate" says on it. Interestingly, my youngest daughter, born in Germany because, hey, that's where we were living at the time, along with many other presumably patriotic Americans, has such a certificate of US live birth abroad from the US Consulate in Frankfurt. One assumes that such a document would be found if Obama were born abroad. As asinine as I think this law is, clearly my daughter may not be president but Obama may.

Also, Hawaii does not generally permit non-family members to order copies of such records. I know, I tried to do this. It's not permitted under any circumstances. So there's nothing mysterious about this supposed "sealing." All such records are essentially sealed unless the petitioner can show cause why they should be made available.

What does Corsi expect to find??? If the document exists then it is by definition proof of birth in the US. If there were no birth in the US then there would be no record of it at all. Oh why do I bother?

I do fear for my country but I don't fear because Obama may become president and awaken from his manchurian candidate sleeper status to deliver us into the hands of. . . whoever. I fear that the seemingly endless numbers of my fellow citizens with malfunctioning cerebral
cortices will become ever more "organized" and somehow rise up to take over our obviously fragile democracy. Well, obviously it must be fragile if we are so clearly susceptible to the evil machinations of terrorists and other America hating socialist fellow travelers around the world that we would not only elect their sleeper agent but would then blindly follow him over the cliff as he unilaterally disarms us and hands our arsenal over to Osama Bin Laden. Jeezus people!

No, really, these people who, I can only assume, prior to the internet and blogging/commenting spent their lonely evenings with a copy of the Weekly World News seriously considering the sad tale of Bat Boy's life story.

Stop with the insanity, get back to old fashioned reality. You can vote for McCain if you agree with him or simply prefer his sartorial style. You don't need some justification on the basis of a vast conspiracy that you and your buddies all know about but has somehow escaped the attention of John McCain himself and the republican party, not to mention the entire intelligence establishment. Or. . . wait, maybe McCain's in on it too. Yes, that's it. When McCain was being held captive in Vietnam, they brainwashed him to take the fall in this election. Yes, I've got it now. . . while Obama was a little Muslim toddler in Kenya being prepped by Osama Bin . . . oh wait, he was just a child too then. No, Osama was actually a grown man but had himself cryogenically frozen and revived so he could see the realization of his plan. Man this guy's good.

OK, so, we got Osama who has planted an advanced control chip in Obama's brain in Kenya while hoodwinking the Vietnamese communists to brainwash McCain to sabotage his political career in favor of Obama's ascension to the presidency where he will give the command and all the other sleeper agents in the CIA, NSA, FBI and the joint chiefs will simultaneously turn over control of the levers of power to Bin Laden.

Damn, I mean. . . if you believe that, we're doomed!

By the way, here's a look at the certificate. . . oh yeah, of course it must be a forgery. Lord save us.

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