California Republican Party Declares Itself Obsolete, Representatives Retire En Masse!

This just in:

For Immediate Release

California Republican Party

Ron Nehring, Chairman

1215 K. Street, Suite 1220

Sacramento, CA 95814

Ron Nehring, Jubilant after the crushing defeat of the Democrat party in the US House of Representatives and the passage of California Proposition 26, calling for a 2/3rds majority to pass any fees that are not directly related to services provided, declared absolute victory today and announced that all Republicans in the California state legislature were retiring immediately.

Mr. Nehring explained that, "with the passage of proposition 26, the death knell has sounded for the Democrats last option for raising more revenue for their socialist makeover of California and our job is done. Now all we have to do is vote no on everything and the democrats are stuck. As a party, we've decided to donate our salaries to state roadworks projects, register our no votes in advance with the President pro tem and retire."

"This is the best sort of planned obsolescence.", said retiring state Senator, Tony Strickland. "We get to declare victory and go home. It's every Republican's dream. Let the Democrats run the government. Who cares? There's no money left so all they can do is cut. That's all we'd do anyway so who needs us?" 

Tom Del Beccaro, Vice Chair of the California Republican party has been in talks with Chairman Steele of the national Republican party. "Chairman Steele is very interested in our strategy here in California. They've copied us effectively in our ""just vote no!"" legislative strategy and want to try an implement something similar to prop 13, 26 and all the other legislative handcuffs we've hobbled those dim witted dems with. California always leads the way!" said Del Beccaro.

Long time state Assemblyman Chuck DeVore said it best, ". . . it's great. I get to sleep in and my auto no vote keeps California right on target for ultimate financial collapse. Once that happens, we can sweep in and rebuild a conservative paradise, having proved once and for all that the Democrats can't run the government without money. It'll be a golden state once more. We'll get every ounce of that gold hiding in those abandoned mines. We've got the mining companies to do it. There's all that oil off the coast too. Imagine, no taxes and fees, just great government with excellent private roads, schools, fire stations and police. Can't wait. It'll be heaven. For now though, I'm going fishing!"

For further information contact

Crystal Feldman

Press Secretary for the California Republican Party.

Unless she's gone fishing too!